


The Promotion

by basiltonjeans



Category: Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Awkward Flirting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Flirting, Jealousy, M/M, One Shot, POV Simon Snow, Rivalry, Teacher Simon Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:23:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23882974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/basiltonjeans/pseuds/basiltonjeans
Summary: Simon's opportunity to become deputy head teacher is jeopardised by Baz Pitch, who is much better at flirting with the head teacher than Simon will ever be.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch & Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 2
Kudos: 105





	The Promotion

**Author's Note:**

> Truth be told, I wrote this because I needed a break from writing the second part to my 'Window of Opportunity' series - which I am actually really excited about. I'm about halfway done with writing it. Please check out my first part to that series if you haven't already! :)
> 
> This isn't my best work so please be kind; I didn't plan it either - I just wrote what I wanted to. 
> 
> I also think I'm going to get back to my fake relationship fic as well, which I just suddenly stopped focusing on. I would like to see it with a nice conclusion. 
> 
> Thank you! I hope everyone's staying safe in quarantine; I've mostly just been reading and sleeping.

**MONDAY: **

The letter is pinned up on the staff room notice board on Monday morning. At first, I walk straight past it, head to the fridge and put my pasta pot in there, where it will wait until approximately 1:30 to get eaten. I straighten up and pop the kettle on, listening to Davey telling me about his wild weekend. Penny wanders through the doors and straight over to me. Her curls are tied into a messy bun on the top of her head and she has a thermos in her hand. “Early for once?” She says, looking oddly impressed. 

“Doug woke me up,” I explain. 

“I told you not to get a dog,” Penny tuts. 

I think of Doug’s ginger fur, big eyes and white paws, “But he’s so cute.”

Penny rolls her eyes and glances around the staff room, her eyes landing on the notice board. “New notice?” She asks.

“Oh, I didn’t even see it.” We walk towards it together. She’s faster at reading than me but my eyes skim past the details and glue onto the most important words: _new deputy head teacher, promotion, permanent position, extremely important role._

“Simon,” Penny is saying. I’m still staring at the notice until she jabs me in the hip. “This is literally what you’ve wanted for so long.” 

“Yeah,” I breathe. 

“The headteacher loves you. You’ve got this.” She pats me on the back comfortingly and I grin. Maybe I have got this. Maybe this is it. 

The door swings open. My head snaps over and Agatha Wellbelove graces the room with her presence. Agatha is the head of drama at our school. She’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Her own eyes land on me, as if she can hear my disastrous thoughts, and then they drift over to the notice board. 

“Penelope, what’s this?” Agatha asks, as though Penny is responsible for the note. 

“They’re looking to promote one of us to deputy head,” Penny summarises. She’s always had a pleasant friendship with Agatha. I haven’t, because of – 

“Baz is going to be so pleased!” Agatha says excitedly. “He’s always wanted this opportunity.” 

As if by magic, the devil appears. Basilton Pitch, Watford’s favourite philosophy teacher and my worst enemy. He stands at the door, a lazy expression on his face, as if he’s bored by everything happening around him. His dark hair is gelled out of his face and his features are sharp and lethal. 

Baz Pitch has hated me since the moment he laid eyes on me. On my first day, five, maybe six years ago, he nearly broke my hand with his vigorous handshake. Baz Pitch had the ability to unleash a different kind of anger in me – a furious rage that I never realised I had. 

“Why am I going to be pleased, Wellbelove?” Baz drawls. He calls everybody by their surnames if he can, even Agatha, who I’d always assumed he was dating.

“Promotion, Baz. He’s looking for a new deputy.” 

In response, Baz nods slowly and raises both eyebrows. He doesn’t smile, but there’s this light in his eyes, signalling he is indeed thrilled. 

Maybe this isn’t it. Maybe this is Baz’s opportunity instead. 

Or maybe, I’m tired of waiting for good things to happen. I tell Penny I’m going to set up everything for my first class, take a detour to the headteacher’s office and let him know I’d like to put my name forward for the promotion. 

-

**TUESDAY:**

I find a note on my desk the following morning inviting me to a meeting with the headteacher at lunch. I let my fourth class go to lunchtime early and scramble over to the staff toilets. I fix up my hair and unfold my collar and straighten my tie.

I arrive outside the headteacher’s office at exactly the right time. Trixie, his assistant, sits on her desk outside his door. She’s filing her nails and chewing gum loudly. Her eyelashes flutter up at me but she quickly looks away. 

I’m nervous and can’t seem to sit still. I make myself busy by slowly pacing across the room, reading the posters about bullying and safe sex. 

The door to my left opens and in walks Baz, his hair perfectly slicked back. He looks bored and uninterested in an attractive sort of way (although he would look better if he stopped gelling his hair). He purses his lips and runs his eyes over me. 

“Snow,” he says as a sort of greeting, observing me.

“Baz,” I respond indignantly, snapping my head towards the poster in front of me, which I quickly realise is about STIs. I subtly back away from it. 

Trixie is talking on the phone at her desk, twirling her chewing gum around her finger. Baz has his hands stationed behind his back, his shoulders straight and head high. He looks completely prepared for battle. 

. . . and he better be. Because he has competition. 

“He’s ready to see you now,” Trixie says, standing up and opening the office door for us. Baz, taking his long strides towards the door, is shocked to see me intercept and wander into the office before him. 

The headmaster is stood by the window, his back facing us, looking out over the school playground. He has a certain curiosity across his face. 

“Sir, Baz and Simon are here to see you,” Trixie says from the doorway. Her tone is much more formal and proper in the presence of the headmaster. 

“Brilliant,” he swivels around like some sort of dancer. His eyes are filled with genuine excitement. “And Trixie, I told you to call me Shep.” 

“Yes, Sir – I mean, _Shep_.” She smiles apologetically and makes her way out of the door. 

“Hello boys,” Shep grins, “Take a seat.” He lowers himself onto his large chair, slouching and lacing his hands in his lap. 

Baz and I scramble to the two seats in front of his desk, determined to be the first there. I’m pretty sure I win. 

“So, both of you put your names forward for the position of deputy head, and I’m so very pleased,” Shep folds one long leg over the other. “I’ve been told I need to make a decision ASAP, so I’m going to deliver a verdict by Monday.” Baz nods his head, so I do it more enthusiastically. “To help me make this decision, I’m going to be keeping an eye on the two of you for the next week.”

“Keeping an eye?” I parrot, just to show I’ve been listening. 

“Yes. I’ll be popping into your lessons, judging how you cope under pressure, maybe asking you to take on some leadership roles. We’ll see.” Baz stretches out his long legs under the desk and his foot knocks into mine. “Nothing too stressful. It’s just me trying to work out who’s best for the job.” I kick his foot back and his head snaps towards me. I struggle to conceal my smile. 

“Sounds great to me,” Baz says, turning his head away from me and towards Shep. 

“Any questions about the process?” 

I struggle to think of a question, wanting to say at least something. I settle for, “Will the visits be surprise ones?” and Baz rolls his eyes into the back of his head. 

“Yep, completely surprise,” Shep nods excitedly. “Well that’s really everything. I’m very much looking forward to seeing the two of you over the next week.” Shep’s smile is almost blinding. 

Baz is smirking attractively, “Thank you, Shep. I’m excited to see this week through.” The two of them are gazing at each other, both wearing flirtatious smiles. 

I interject, “Yes, me too. Also excited. Also looking forward to everything,” and Shep’s playful expression moves across to me. 

“Well, you’re both free to go then,” Shep concludes. Baz and I stand at the same time and make our way to the door. Baz pushes me out of the doorway, and I elbow him on the way out into the hallway. He lets out a yelp. 

“You’re so immature,” he tells me, looking the other way. 

“Me? You pushed me first!” 

He doesn’t respond; instead, he just sighs and rolls his eyes, as if he’s above talking to me. 

We get out of the building and into the playground, where there are about a hundred school kids all eating their lunch or running around. A couple of them shout ‘Mr Pitch’ or ‘Mr Snow’ and we politely wave in their direction. 

I stretch my neck and look back at the building we just left, up at the top window – the one belonging to Shep’s office. I have to shield my eyes from the burning sun, but I can just about see him. He’s got his hands in his pockets and he’s watching us walk across the playground with an expression of interest. 

I turn to face Baz again but he’s also watching Shep. He catches my gaze and looks forward. 

“How’s it going to feel when I win then, Snow?” He asks. 

“I won’t know, will I?” I respond lamely. Baz rolls his eyes again and I find myself spluttering out, “Well what’s your plan then? Just to flirt your way to the job?” 

Baz shrugs, completely unaffected by my small outburst. “I might.” 

“Well.” I’m losing it. I’m scrambling for things to say. “What would Agatha say?” 

“Wellbelove?” Baz furrows his eyebrows, “I assume she’d probably tell me to go for it.” 

“I –” I open and close my mouth like a fish. A sudden realisation occurs to me: they’re not dating. They’re just close friends. To rid me of the embarrassment from this mistake, I say, “Fine. Two can play at that game.” 

“Oh really?” Baz looks over and lets his eyes wander over me, “Simon Straight Snow is going to flirt with a man for a promotion.” 

I gulp, feeling my cheeks turn slightly pink. I don’t like where this conversation is going or how it’s starting to become about me. 

“I never said I was . . .” I say quietly, trailing off. My words are almost cut off by the sound of me opening the door to another building. Baz and I have always had our classrooms in the same building – his on the second floor and mine on the first. 

I step into the building quickly and in an attempt to escape being exposed any more, I rush straight through the doors and into my classroom, turning on the light. The door slams shut behind me and I assume Baz has taken the stairs and gone to his own room. 

I let out a sigh of relief, landing on my comfy desk chair and running a hand through my hair. 

I’m about to start setting up for my next class when the door swings open again. Baz, back for another argument, I presume, stands in the doorway with a thoughtful expression across his face. 

I stand up, “What is it, Baz?” 

He glances at the door, as if he doesn’t know himself why he’s here. “I didn’t want to offend you back there. I just assumed you were . . . you know. I shouldn’t have.” 

“It’s okay,” I say quickly, then admit, “I assumed you were dating Agatha.” 

“Oh.” His lips twitch slightly, forming the beginning of a smile. “I’m gay,” he shrugs. 

I hold onto the edge of my desk, “Good to know.” 

He nods and opens my door again, starting to step out. 

“Hey Baz,” I call and he leans back to look at me, “May the best man win.” 

-

**WEDNESDAY:**

“Simon, this is turning into a pretty childish rivalry,” Penny tells me the following morning as I’m leaning across the staff room printer, watching an endless amount of posters print. 

“Penny, this is not childish,” I tell her. “You should’ve seen him in yesterday’s meeting. He was all . . .” I pucker my lips and say in a seductive voice, “I’m so excited to see you, Shep. So very excited for you Shep.”

Penny grimaces and pinches one of the posters out of the printer. “Why a poster on STIs though?” 

I shrug, “I was inspired,” and pinch the poster back out of her grasp. 

“What do I do when Baz kills you?” She asks, leaning her shoulder against the wall beside her. 

“I don’t know.” The printer finishes the last few copies and I start to gather them up. “Make a statue of my face or something.” 

Penny and I wander out of the staff room and over towards the building Baz and I’s classrooms are in. Penny splits away from me outside her own building, saying how she doesn’t want to be involved in any of the ‘childishness’. 

I knock on Baz’s classroom door and when I don’t hear any movement from inside, I walk inside. I’m being cautious and sneaky, like a secret agent. I’m only a few steps away from rolling around on the ground and miming shooting a gun. 

Baz’s classroom is much more organised and tidier than mine. He has philosophy books lining the walls and shelves of nicely labelled folders and books. It irritates me to my core. 

I don’t have time to stick the posters to the wall. Instead, I stand right in the centre of the tidy classroom, tip my head back and fling the posters up into the air. They fly in all directions, landing all across the room. The deed is done. 

I leave the classroom with an innocent grin across my face. 

Truth be told, I’m feeling pretty doubtful about my abilities to flirt my way to the position of deputy head. I can’t flirt. I know that, because I’ve been told that. On many occasions. Every time Penny and I so much as step foot in a bar or club (sometimes even a restaurant), she’ll warn me that my flirting skills are abysmal. 

Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that it might be easier to prank Baz and win the position. It’s a pretty cheap way to win, but I feel good about my chances. 

“Snow?” I hear a voice right in front of me as I’m walking back down the stairs to my classroom. I’m burst out of my thoughts and faced with Baz, wearing a quizzical expression. “What are you doing?” 

“Uh,” My eyes widen and I search for the answer in my surroundings. I’m also a terrible liar. That’s another thing Penny likes to tell me. “I was just –” I point to the ceiling, “visiting . . . Daphne.” 

“Daphne’s ill,” Baz says, pursing his lips. 

“Yes, I just learned that. By going upstairs. And seeing she’s not there.” 

He narrows his eyes, “Hmm.” 

“Anyway,” I start to slide past him on the stairs, my arm brushing against his. “I better go. Stuff to do.” I turn quickly, rushing down the last of the stairs and away from Baz’s prying eyes. 

Phew. I think I got away with that one. 

-

At lunch time, the tension in the staff room is weird. Multiple teachers catch my eye and instead of chatting to me or asking about my classes or my weekend or the British weather, they just look away, embarrassed to be caught. 

Penny is in her classroom marking the last of her student’s essays. She promises to catch up with me at the end of the day. 

Shep enters the staff room and makes his way over to the kitchen counter. He picks up the bag of sugar, exclaiming to everyone that he’s just stealing some for his tea, before walking towards the door again. I begin to wave at him when he looks in my direction, but he offers me a rather sad smile instead. 

Baz and Agatha are sat in the corner of the staff room on a sofa. Baz gazes at me over his coffee mug and instead of being embarrassed or angry or confused about the prank, he just smirks at me. 

I have to look away, my cheeks hot. 

-

“You told _EVERYONE_ I have an STI!” I practically scream, bursting through Baz’s classroom door at the end of the day. The door slams against his bookshelf and then slams closed again. He’s sat at his desk, pen in hand, perfectly composed. I’m seething: “Text from Penny: _everyone thinks you have an STI_.” 

Baz puts his pen down slowly, “I don’t see what the problem is.” 

“You know exactly what the problem is!” I say, heading towards his desk and standing on the other side, fists balled at my sides. 

“Snow, you have to understand,” he speaks leisurely, “coming into my classroom and seeing all of those posters . . . I thought you were trying to say something. I thought it made you want to educate the kids on it.” 

“You didn’t –” I grumble, “You didn’t think that! You just switched this completely around on me.” 

Baz sighs and leans back in his chair, “Well, what did you expect, Snow? That I would leave the posters lying around and wait for the children to start up a rumour about me?” 

“I didn’t . . .” 

“You didn’t think,” he starts to stand from his chair. “And in my defence, I only told Shep. And I only told him because he came in to talk to me and asked about the posters.” 

“I –”

“You’re not going to win like this, Snow,” he says in a slightly softer voice. His hand reaches towards me and I find myself wishing that he’d touch me. That’s new. That’s a feeling that I’ve never noticed before. His fingers run across my collar and I freeze to the spot. He unfolds it and his hand lingers there. He quickly retracts it and puts his hands in his pockets. “Play the game fairly,” he says firmly. 

“Fairly?” I mutter. “How is flirting with the headteacher fair?”

He rolls his eyes, “I’ve got work to do,” and sits back on his desk chair. 

Before going back to my classroom, I reluctantly wander across the playground to the headteacher’s office. I inform him that there’s been a terrible misunderstanding surrounding STIs. I find myself knocking a pen off of his desk just to lean down and seductively pick it up. Despite my terrible awkwardness, Shep’s eyes light up. 

Okay Baz. Let’s play fair. 

-

**THURSDAY:**

At breaktime on Thursday, I learn Shep visited Baz mid-way through a lesson. Penny has ways of finding out all sorts of things about the staff at Watford. She has all the gossip. She refuses to tell me her sources. 

Baz looks pretty relaxed sat in his corner of the staff room sipping at a cup of coffee. Agatha is chatting away beside him, swishing her blonde hair out of her face. I don’t understand how I ever missed their blatant friendship. Their dynamic perfectly mirrors mine and Penny’s. How did I manage to ignore that? 

“You’re not nervous, are you?” Penny says to me as she settles our teas on the coffee table in front of me. 

“Nervous?” 

“Yeah,” she sits on the sofa beside me and takes out a packet of wotsits from her bag. “If Baz has had a visit, yours must be next. I don’t want you to be worried.” 

“No, it’s fine. I just –” My eyes flicker across the room to Baz and then back to Penny. “This whole flirting thing is very tiring. I’m not good at it like Baz.” 

I think back to this morning and how I’d bumped into Shep in the carpark. I’d offered to take his bag like some lovesick fifteen-year-old and of course, he’d said no. I settled for walking with him to his office building and complimenting him as much as possible. I would’ve started running for my life by the time we reached the building if I was him. Instead, he wished me a good day and lingered for a second too long. 

“Was that a compliment . . . towards _Baz Pitch_?” 

He looks up from the other side of the room, like some sort of vampire with exceptional hearing. His stormy eyes land on me and he starts to do that attractive smirk again. I gulp and look away. 

“No, not really,” I start to mumble, “He’s just smooth, you know? He winks and says attractive things and does that little smirk and –”

I stop myself. Penny is holding a wotsit halfway to her mouth but she’s completely frozen. 

“This whole situation is just messing with my head. It’s nothing,” I say quickly. I tell her I’m going to get ready for my next class and stride right out of the room. 

-

Five minutes before the end of break, there’s a knock at my classroom door. Before I can say anything, Baz comes strutting in. 

With his hands behind his back, he begins to observe the room. He looks from the posters on the walls to the writing on my whiteboard. When his eyes land on me, he raises his eyebrows as a greeting. 

“What do you want?” I say. 

He looks amused, “Oh, very cold. Here I was thinking we were becoming friends.” 

“I –” I open my mouth and close it. _Of course he doesn’t want to be my friend._ “I heard about Shep’s visit to your class.”

“Mm,” he hums, perching on one of the desks at the front of the class. “It went well, I think. It was my year 11 class and we were all having a pretty intellectual debate about Plato’s theory of Forms. He seemed to like it.” 

“ _Like_ what?” I say, shooting him a look. “The class or you?” 

He shrugs and wrinkles up his nose, which is something I’ve never seen him do before. “Both, I suppose.” He still looks amused, like this conversation is intriguing him. 

I sigh and roll my eyes, “Well I suppose Shep will probably be coming here next. Maybe even for this next period.” 

“I suppose he might.” 

“Wait . . .” I say and Baz looks at me expectantly. “You – ugh, you are clever.”

“Thanks –” 

“You’re here to bump into Shep if he comes. You want to make it look like you’re making friends with the competition. Wow, Baz, bravo.” 

Baz shakes his head slowly but doesn’t say anything else. The bell rings loudly around the building and the sounds of the children starting to travel to their classes fills the school. 

“Don’t you have a lesson to teach?” I ask, standing from my desk and beginning to rub out the writing on the whiteboard. 

“I’ve got a free,” he says absent-mindedly. I glance at him from where he’s still resting against one of the front desks but he’s craning his neck to look out of the classroom door. 

“Why don’t you go away then?” I say rudely. Baz doesn’t seem surprised; he just straightens up and slowly begins to walk towards the door. 

“Okay, Snow. Thank you for chatting with me. I’m so glad we’re becoming friends now. Honestly, this whole experience has really changed my –” He’s almost reached the door when it gets flung open by somebody on the other side. 

Shep holds the door open with his hip and a delighted grin spreads across his face when he sees the two of us together. “Hello both of you!” He says happily.

I scowl at Baz when Shep isn’t looking (which is most of the time, because he can’t seem to take his eyes off Baz). “Shep,” Baz nods as a greeting. “Snow and I were just catching up. We’re both watching the same show at the moment, so we’ve been chatting nonstop about it.” 

“That’s brilliant. I’m so glad you two are getting along,” Shep says. 

Baz excuses himself, but not before stroking his hand along Shep’s forearm. My body tenses up at the sight and I’m filled with an uncontrollable sort of anger. Because Baz is closer to the promotion. That’s why. No other reason. 

I let my year 10s into the classroom and Shep stays to observe the whole lesson. I try to start up a debate about the sincerity of Romeo’s love for Juliet, but the class does not seem interested in the slightest. At the end, when the kids are filing out and Shep is walking towards me, I throw all common sense out the window and suggest getting drinks with him. 

He agrees to drinks. 

When he leaves the classroom, I do a little celebratory dance. 

-

As it turns out, getting ‘drinks with me’, according to Shep, meant inviting the other staff at the school as well. 

-

**FRIDAY:**

“So . . . why did you suggest we all go out for drinks tonight?” Penny is asking me on Friday morning. I don’t want to see Baz’s smug face when he realises he has the perfect opportunity now to drunkenly flirt with Shep – which is why I’m hiding out in my classroom with Penny. 

“I didn’t suggest ‘we all’ do anything. It was supposed to be just me and him,” I huff. 

“I’m actually getting a bit confused now,” Penny exclaims. She’s sat on one of the chairs at the same front desk Baz was resting against just yesterday, and she’s got her feet propped up onto the one next to it. “Do you fancy Shep?” 

I feel guilty as soon as she asks the question, but I can’t exactly lie. “No . . . but neither does Baz! He’s just trying to win!” 

“Simon . . . this is not going to end the way you want it.” 

“Well, that I do agree with. I want it to end with me as deputy but realistically, Baz is going to win,” I grumble, thinking back to these past few days. “It’s crazy, Pen, the way he acts with Shep. You should see it. He’s all flirtatious and coy and charming. It’s . . . attractive.”

Penny eyes me cautiously, “This is the second time you’ve mentioned Baz and ‘attractive’ together.” 

“It’s not what you think,” I mutter. Is it what she thinks? Now that’s a can of worms I refuse to open. “What’s the plan tonight then?” 

She shrugs, “Flirt?” 

I’m tapping a pen against my chin, thinking hard about what to do. I gasp, an idea appearing in my mind. “I’ve got it!” 

Penny doesn’t stand up and applaud like I might’ve expected in a perfect world. Instead, she just scoffs and starts looking at her phone. 

-

I managed to avoid Baz for most of the day, except when he caught me on my quick mission to grab my pasta from the staff room fridge. I bumped into his chest on my way back out of the door, stumbled back, apologised and started rushing away from him. 

Now, I’m jumping out a taxi with Penny at my side, heading into a nice little bar to get drinks with the people I work with. We’re fashionably late (which is what I keep saying to Penny, but she’s just annoyed that it took me so long to pick a colour of jeans – I went with black) so it seems as though everyone has already arrived by the time we get inside. 

Our company for tonight sit around a booth in the corner of the bar, drinks already in front of them. Davey on the end, then Shirley, then Clint, then Agatha, then Baz, then Shep. I suppose you can’t expect a great turnout when it’s such a last-minute plan. 

Clint seems to be practically dribbling over the sight of Agatha in a dress whilst Baz and Shep are deep in conversation. 

“Hey guys!” Penny says, drawing everyone’s attention to us. Baz meets my eye first, but mostly because I can’t seem to look away from him. He’s wearing a black shirt with flowers on it and his hair is flowing freely – not slicked back. My eyes move to Shep, who is glancing excitedly between Penny and me. 

There are a chorus of responses to us and then Shep is sliding out of the booth, asking for Penny and I’s drink orders and wandering up to the bar. 

I see my opportunity and grab it. Before I can make a better judgement, I’m sliding into the booth and moving right beside Baz. Penny follows and sits next to me, so now there’s really no escaping. 

Baz looks mostly confused – probably since I’ve been avoiding him all day. 

“Hey Baz, Agatha,” I say politely. “Agatha, you look stunning.” I’ve never said anything so direct to somebody who looks like Agatha. It’s terrifying, waiting for her response, but to my absolute luck, she lets out a delighted chuckle. 

“I wasn’t sure what to wear,” she admits, touching the hem of her blue dress. “This was so last-minute, so I just threw this old thing on.” 

“I think it looks lovely,” I say. She smiles bashfully. Baz is stiff beside me. 

“What are you doing, Snow?” He asks through gritted teeth. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” I say, a bit childishly. 

Shep comes back with drinks for Penny and I. He slides them across the table, then we’re all forced to huddle closer so he can sit on the end next to Penny. My shoulder is pressed up against Baz’s. I reach for my drink and take a long sip. 

The night goes on and with every sip of my drink, I begin to loosen up and enjoy myself. My mouth also starts to run a little; the compliments for Agatha come flowing out and there’s nothing to stop them. I’m not even lying when I speak to her; she is beautiful, and I would be lucky to ever get a minute of her time. 

And even when it seems as though Agatha might be genuinely enjoying my company and my flirting, something still doesn’t sit right with me. There’s something I’m missing. Something I’m shutting away. 

Baz sits between us for the duration of the night, making sounds of annoyance throughout our conversations. 

When I excuse myself from the table and begin to wander towards the toilets, I’m unsurprised to find Baz following me. The door flings open and closes. I’m already at the urinal but we’re the only two in the bathroom. He crosses his arms over and angrily demands, “What are you trying to do?” 

As I’m washing my hands at the sink, I shrug, “All this time, I thought something was going on between you and Agatha. Now that I know it’s not, I thought I’d shoot my shot.” 

“Oh really?” Baz says, unconvinced. I glance at him and alarmingly notice he’s wearing jeans. Jeans. Black skinny jeans. Right in front of my face. He shakes his head slowly, “I don’t understand what you’re trying to do. How is this going to get you the promotion?” 

I’m taken back by the question, but I hide it well. I thought up the plan this morning in my classroom: flirt with Agatha, aggravate Baz. Never once did I wonder what good this would actually do for the whole point of this exhausting week. How would it help me become deputy head? 

Now I think about it, the promotion hasn’t really been on my mind. Baz has. He’s on my mind every second of the day and every minute of the night. Even before this week, it seemed to be like that. He’s beautiful, and he terrifies me, and I’d let him ruin my life if he ever gave me the chance to get close enough. 

Woah. _There’s_ the open can of worms. The worms are everywhere, and I can’t seem to get rid of them. There’s no fighting it anymore. 

“Why does it bother you if I flirt with Agatha?” I ask with a newfound confidence. I watch myself in the mirror as I say it, and I look completely different to my usual self. I look like somebody who has finally figured everything out. Somebody who has opened the can of worms. 

Baz freezes at the question. It’s so minor that I almost don’t notice. But then he’s quickly filling the silence with a small, “It doesn’t bother me.” 

“Alright so . . . I’ll just go right back outside and sit with her . . . “ I trail off. When he doesn’t speak for a few seconds, just watching me with fire in his eyes, I make my way towards the door. His body is blocking it, so I try to slide past him. When my back is against the bathroom wall, trying to get past, he turns his body in my direction. 

I furrow my eyebrows, “What now?” 

His eyes are darker in the dimly lit bathroom. 

“I might have a little flirt with Shep too, whilst I’m at it,” I say, just for the sake of it. He doesn’t react. “And Penny. Might as well give Clint a bit of love too. I’ll just –”

I’m cut off by the shock of being pushed hard against the bathroom wall. I open my mouth to say something but I’m cut off again – this time by Baz’s body being pressed against my own and his lips closing around mine. I’m so shocked that at first, I completely freeze. Then I’m melting into it, my hands grasping his shoulders and running along the material of his floral shirt. 

My tongue presses into Baz’s mouth and he lets out a small groan. I move my hands to his waist and then start to rub my fingers along some exposed skin at his lower back. I’m living a charmed life, I realise, as Baz’s own fingers run through my curls. 

The can of worms are fully open now: It has been Baz all along. Not Shep, not Agatha. I don’t care about the promotion as long as I can have this for the rest of my life. 

The bathroom door slams open and Baz jumps away from me. A heavily tattooed bloke enters and walks towards the urinals. He barely even glances at the two of us, who must look very suspicious. I look at Baz, who I’ve never been very good at reading, and suddenly I’m able to hear all of his thoughts like they’re my own. Painted all over his face: realisation dawns upon him that I’m his rival for an important promotion. I’m the only thing standing between him and what he’s always wanted. 

Before I can conjure up the right words, Baz is rushing out of the bathroom. I get myself out just in time to see his retreating figure leave the bar. 

-

**SATURDAY:**

**[To: Penny]**  
_**Soz for leaving so quickly yesterday. Thought I might be able to catch up w Baz** _

**[To: Penny]**  
_**Everything sucks. Tip: don’t open the can of worms** _

**[To: Penny]**  
_**Thought u’d be pleased to know I’ve figured out what I want. Spoiler: its baz. Wish u would respond** _

**[To: Penny]**  
_**U r my only source of happiness pls respond** _

-

**SUNDAY:**

  
**[From: Penny]**  
_**Jesus Christ Simon. u figured out u r in love with baz? Very proud of u. tomorrow is gonna be interesting x** _

-

**MONDAY:**

By the time Monday rolls around, I am a mess. I made myself take a shower this morning, but even though I don’t smell bad anymore, I’m still feeling sorry for myself. I go straight to my classroom. Shep sent out an email over the weekend to let us know he’s revealing the new deputy at lunch time. 

I wonder whether I’m going to be able to avoid Baz today. I want to see him, obviously. I want to be around him all the time, but I know from Friday night that he’s focused on the promotion and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. 

The promotion . . . 

The thought of winning the promotion makes me feel a bit sick. The thought of seeing Baz’s face drop if I won . . . hurts. I don’t want it. Not after all this. I want Baz to have it. 

Just as I’m about to enter my building, I make a quick u-turn, heading in a completely different direction. 

-

It’s fourth period, just before lunch, and I’m taking the stairs two at a time, right up to Baz’s floor. I can feel nerves bubbling up inside of me. The thought of him regretting the kiss on Friday night swirls around my brain. I push it away. 

I tap on his door before entering. I hear an annoyed ‘come in’ so I push the door open. Both him and I have a free period now. He seems to instantly freeze when he sees me. 

“Snow,” he says in a low voice. 

“Hey,” I offer him a shy smile. He’s closed off to me but still, I can feel a different atmosphere between us. Before, we were both stiff and cold and unfriendly. Now, I feel slightly excited and tingly at the prospect of things changing between us. Being with Baz – touching him and kissing him. The air has shifted. “I think we should talk.” 

He stands up and quickly mutters, “We can just forget what happened on Friday.” 

“I –” I step towards him. “I don’t want to forget.” 

Baz gulps and I see the way his throat moves. “Snow . . . the promotion.” 

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” I say. 

Baz sighs, “I understand.”

“Understand what?” 

“It would be impossible for us to . . . when one of us loses the promotion. The resentment will get in the way.” 

“What? No, Baz –” I say. “Is that what you want though? For us to . . .” 

Baz’s cheeks turn a wonderful pinkish colour and he says, “Well, I suppose.” 

I find myself grinning. 

“Why are you smiling?” Baz asks, confusion settling on his face. “I just said it would be impossible.” 

I reach up my hand and cup his face, softly telling him, “I told Shep I don’t want the promotion.” 

Baz looks horrified and my hand falls away, “What? Why would you do that? I thought you wanted it.” 

“I thought I did too. But I don’t. I’m perfectly happy without it,” I explain. “Besides, Shep offered me head of the English department and has asked me to set up an LGBT+ awareness group.” My hand reaches up and I try again, my fingers stroking his jawline. “I want you to have the promotion, Baz.” 

“But . . . how can I accept it knowing that you gave up on it for me?”

“Because I want you to. And because I’m happy with my decision – glad, even. If I was deputy, I wouldn’t be able to take on the entire English department too. I wouldn’t be able to take on such an important club. I want these jobs instead, and I want you to be the deputy head of the school, because it’s what you deserve.” 

Baz finally cracks a smile. Baring his teeth and all. The smile reaches his grey eyes and they shine. He looks like the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. 

Then he’s kissing me. He’s pressing his lips to mine and pulling at my hair. I’m kissing his cheeks and kissing his eyelids and kissing his neck and he’s whispering my name into my ear like a promise. 

Baz accepts the promotion beside Shep. I take him out on our first date the following Friday and although the night is filled with many, many stupid mistakes, Baz agrees to be my boyfriend. 

As it turns out, Agatha was aware of Baz’s feelings for me the entire time. She isn’t surprised to find out they are reciprocated, saying she figured as much from the aimless staring and my attempt to make him jealous that night at the bar. 

It also turns out that another can of worms were opened on that Friday. Whilst Baz and I were completely absorbed by our game of cat and mouse, another connection was being forged. Shep, having loved her for years, finally made a move on Penny. And Penny, who had never before considered the idea, found herself desiring his company. Turns out Baz and I weren’t the seduction masters like we had once thought – Shep is just a polite and happy guy with eyes only for Penelope Bunce. 

Baz meets Doug, my little dog, and the two immediately become best friends. I’m curled upa on my sofa as Baz lays on my living room carpet with Doug curled up on his chest, stroking his fur down. I find myself letting the words slip out of my mouth: “I love you,” and then my eyes widen. 

Baz’s expression is filled with joy. He glances at Doug asleep on him, looks back at me with a fondness in his stormy eyes and whispers, “I love you too, Simon.” 


End file.
